Revisions

Although there is definatley more than three things that I can fix about my paper, here are some of the important ones:
1.) I really need to work on aiming my paper at an audience. Write now it just sounds like an essay I wrote as an assignment for my rhetoric class.
2.) I need some clarity and strucure. At times it seems like I'm just rambling but there needs to be meaning in everything that I say, it sounds wishy washy.
3.) When we were highlighting and circling things on Tuesday, I realized that I have lots and lots of facts and I don't really have any analyzing going on in my paper. To me this is the biggest issue of all and I really need to work on it and amend this.