Improving my paper

i need to work on the stucture in my paragraph and some grammars error.This is much harder then what I thought, because I'm not sure what I'm really want to talk about. I think my paper is more opinionated.

things to go over in my paper

Of the many things that I need to address in my paper, I need to:

- Establish more credibility by incluing more quotes from experts.
-Improve the flow of my paper so as to lead my audience to the conclusion that I want them to come to. In order to this I'll have to use more transition words. Thank goodness for the revision class workshop day because now I can put to use all those helpful skills we learned for revising our paper.
- I also need to revise my tone on my paper, so as to not to come off to be too preachy.
- And I need to make sure that I'm very clear in my argument.