Revision of my paper

So , I found the revision workshop Tuesday VERY helpful for my paper. After class I went through my paper once more and tried to narrow down the problems I need to fix. The three issues I need to resolve in my paper are as follows...

1. The specific argument and audience of my paper. These somewhat go hand in hand, but basically I need to narrow my topic from just AIDS in Africa to something more specific. From there, I need to identify what I want to argue and who I will be writing to, based on the type of my argument.

2. Next, I need to work on the flow of my paper. This has to do with topic sentences and sub-topics within a paragraph. I need to work on making it clear to the reader what a paragraph will be about.
3. I also need to work on my introduction/conclusion. I think after some revision on my paper, my conclusion will be easier to write. But as for my introduction I am struggling. Do I go with a catchy or sympathetic approach? Do I start with a question, quote or story?

These are some of the problems I need to revise in my paper!