Revision

In my paper titled Global Warming and Human Health, there are more than a handful of revisions that need to be made. I feel that one of the paper's problems is that it does not appear to have a clear audience. I was targeting the paper at young adults, but this idea gets lost throughout the paper and it begins to be geared toward more of a learned audience. In order to fix this I feel that I need to read a few articles geared toward young readers and take notice of the language that is used. I also feel that my paper lacks quotations and therefore it lacks credibility. I need to look back over my research and find quotes that make this paper stronger. Another major problem with my paper is that it does not have a consistent flow. I feel that the transitions are awkward and that the paragraph changes are choppy. I need to go back through my paper and create a smoother flow by reading it outloud to myself and to my friends.