Thursday, October 23, 2008

Problems with my paper

The first problem with my paper is that it does not have a well defined conclusion. Most of the substance for the conclusion is there, but it is mingled in with the last body paragraph of my paper. That paragraph started out as a conclusion but slowly turned into a body paragraph. I will split the two and make them into a body paragraph and conclusion.

The second problem is that I have two weak topic sentences. When I was looking for the topic sentence of two of my paragraphs, I had trouble figuring out exactly which sentence was it. That is unacceptable. I need to rework those two paragraphs.

The third thing I need is to better define my argument and to give conflicting views with my argument. This is something I have known I need to do but just have not gotten to yet. Once I do this it will more than likely fix my fifth problem which is length. I am at 4 pages and it needs to be 5.

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