Saturday, November 8, 2008

post

Legrain's article was interesting. I've never had any thoughts that America is taking over the world and enforcing its culture on everyone. But that is probably just because I am in America and whatever. Poynter's article about Ladakh I did not find very super. Poynter kept repeating something about everbody caring if traditional cultures survive...I sure don't! It really doesn't make a difference to me what happens in Ladakh...or pretty much most places other than where I am. Jenkin's thing about cultural music and whatever didn't do much for me. Pavitr Prabhakar is spiderman?!?! Freakin sweet!

In Defense of Globalization

I really enjoyed Philippe Legrain's piece "In Defense of Globalization." I think that it was really effective in getting the point across. The last paragraph in particular was so persuasive: "The truth is that we increasingly define ourselves rather than let others define us..." Globalization does not have the power to change or determine who we are. Our choices are transcendent.

Friday, November 7, 2008

At the start of this class I wasn't really sure if I was for or against globalization. They both have their pros and their cons. I partly still feel that way today, even after reading so many passages giving both sides of the argument on globalization. But after reading this weeks readings, I can definately say that I am for globalization. It may sound trivial, but I guess it really hit me when I read Jenkins article, talking about how through globalization we are able to experience different cultures music, movies, food, etc. It seems like such an obvious statement, and it is. Yet, the impact of how other cultures have shaped me never hit me until another person said it. And that's when I realized that globalization is a wonderful thing. But other articles such as Poynter's remind me that the power of globalization cannot be taken lightly. It's a careful balance. To tie in another article, "With great power (globalization), comes great responsibility". Poytner's article reinforces my belief that globalization can help all those devloping countries struggling to survive. But it also reminds me that globalization can easily overwhelm a culture and soon bury it in the new techonology and foreign habits and cultures that globalization may bring, only to be lost forever. So it is important, nay essential, for us to preserve cultures yet bring the benefits of globalization. When you think about it, if we don't preserve our indiviual cultures, then once globalization has reached it's peak, what else is there to share and spread because we'll all be exactly alike.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Improving my paper

i need to work on the stucture in my paragraph and some grammars error.This is much harder then what I thought, because I'm not sure what I'm really want to talk about. I think my paper is more opinionated.

things to go over in my paper

Of the many things that I need to address in my paper, I need to:

- Establish more credibility by incluing more quotes from experts.
-Improve the flow of my paper so as to lead my audience to the conclusion that I want them to come to. In order to this I'll have to use more transition words. Thank goodness for the revision class workshop day because now I can put to use all those helpful skills we learned for revising our paper.
- I also need to revise my tone on my paper, so as to not to come off to be too preachy.
- And I need to make sure that I'm very clear in my argument.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

What I am going to do this weekend

I am going to fix my paper.
How?
I have lots good statistics, and I am using evaluative argument.
Therefore first off, I am going to need to do more specific analysis with a more solid and clear thesis statement.
Second, I have done quite a lot of research, but I am going to have to do some more research to find supporting facts.
Third, I am going to make revisions to support my claims and write a little more. I will need also need proper bibliography.

Problems with my paper

The first problem with my paper is that it does not have a well defined conclusion. Most of the substance for the conclusion is there, but it is mingled in with the last body paragraph of my paper. That paragraph started out as a conclusion but slowly turned into a body paragraph. I will split the two and make them into a body paragraph and conclusion.

The second problem is that I have two weak topic sentences. When I was looking for the topic sentence of two of my paragraphs, I had trouble figuring out exactly which sentence was it. That is unacceptable. I need to rework those two paragraphs.

The third thing I need is to better define my argument and to give conflicting views with my argument. This is something I have known I need to do but just have not gotten to yet. Once I do this it will more than likely fix my fifth problem which is length. I am at 4 pages and it needs to be 5.